


Runaround Sue

by pinkbubblesgo



Series: Jukebox Stories [10]
Category: Original Work
Genre: 1960s, Inspired by Music, Music, Other, Period Typical Attitudes, Rated For Violence, Slut Shaming, Song Lyrics, Teenagers, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Underage Character(s), Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkbubblesgo/pseuds/pinkbubblesgo
Summary: I didn't make a playlist for this story but there are good 1961 playlists out there, come on :P
Series: Jukebox Stories [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/547435
Kudos: 1





	Runaround Sue

It was the year 1961 in the United States of America when Paul tapped her black dancing shoes to the music of The Platters as she waited outside the salon. Once in a while, when her nervousness reached its peak, she would comb her short, brown hair and add grease to it, then hid her trembling hands in her suit pockets. She wasn't sure if her style was as good as she had always wanted it, but no one was looking at her funny, so she relaxed for a while. Surely, having studied her older brother's habits in front of the bathroom mirror would be worth it. 

_Yes, I'm the great pretender_   
_Just laughin' and gay like the clown_   
_I seem to be what I'm not, you see_   
_I'm wearing my heart like a crown_   
_Pretending that you're still around_

It was Paul's big day, after training her voice in private for months. The people she had sent her tape to had told her she sounded great for her age and couldn't understand why "he" chose to remain anonymous.

The first female fans started showing up, so Paul put on her black shades and entered the salon, remembering to strut like James Dean.

The lead singer noticed her and sent a waiting hand gesture to her. Once the song was over, he left the microphone, got off the stage and reached Paul. He was out of breath.

"Are you my replacement for tonight?" he asked her.

"Yes, I'm Paul," Paul replied, trying to make her voice deeper than usual.

"I'm Ward, nice to meet you". 

The lead singer coughed. His eyes were exorbitant. "This gripe is killing me, bud...," he said. "You learned the lyrics by heart?"

"Yes, of course", Paul said.

"Well, they're glued to the floor, if you've ever in trouble."

Paul nodded. Ward gave her a thorough look.

"What?" Paul put herself on guard. 

"You look..." Ward said, and Paul thought, _please don't say girly..._ "A little young. You sure you're fifteen?" 

"I look younger than my age," Paul raised her voice so she'd look confident. 

"You sure do... And what's with the glasses?" Ward cracked up. 

"Oh, these? My brother, he-uh... He threw shaving cream at my eyes." 

"Prankster, huh?" 

Ward started coughing and it seemed nothing would stop him. Paul smiled, patted his back and said goodbye. 

The stage was ready for her, but she thought the feeling wasn't mutual. The obsessive idea that someone would notice the lie plagued on her again, and when one of the backing vocalists introduced her as "the greatest voice of Oak Park High", her throat locked. 

"C'mon on stage, Paul!" he insisted. Trying a humble smile, she ran to the stage and grabbed the microphone. 

_When I see my baby_ [she sang, and was glad the saxophone player followed up]   
_What do I see?_  
 _Poetry_  
 _Poetry in motion_

The girls in the audience were in awe. 

_Poetry in motion_   
_Walkin' by my side_   
_Her lovely locomotion_   
_Keeps my eyes open wide_

Once the first verses were out of her lungs, Paul started to get more comfortable. Her voice (deeper than most girls but high enough for a 13 year old) shone through the song, only two and a half minutes long. Paul waved at the audience and waited for them to calm down, like gentle waves after a particularly wild sea twirl.

The next song was faster, which gave her the chance to show off her dance moves. As the crowd grooved along, she imagined the voice of her mother telling her she was born to be a star. 

Finally, Paul spotted her best friend Sue walking into the room. Paul's heart stopped at her red dress and matching lip gloss. Sue was alone, for a change. 

Paul went on with another song, this time from Neil Sedaka, and watched with delight how Sue didn't seem to recognize her. She gave the best performance she could think of and said she needed a break. 

Paul's hands were trembling again when she opened the boys restroom door, and she tried not to look around or appear impressed. Truthfully, it had been a silly idea to play all that charade, as a simple water splash on her face would reveal her secret, but she felt comfortable and happy. It was a different kind of anxiety now, a rather pleasant one that the spotlight and music gave her, very different from the nonstop dread of everyday life, where she had to play along as a girl.

She applied more grease into her short hair, watching other boys come and go through the mirror. When she felt Sue's perfume coming closer, Paul walked out of the bathroom, pretending their encounter was just a coincidence. 

"Hey", Sue said with a nervous smile and red cheeks. 

"Hi", Paul tried to sound confident. She waited a few seconds, then exhaled and smiled in relief: Sue hadn't noticed. _She looks so pretty and in those colors_ , Paul thought. None of the other girls in their class wore that kind of make up, neither did they dance as carelessly as Sue. She stood out, and Paul liked that about her. 

"You look like my best friend," Sue said. 

"You came way over here to tell me that?" 

They shared nervous chuckles. 

"No, of course not," Sue said. "You're a really good singer," she added, pursing her lips into a smile. 

"Thanks," Paul replied. She lightened one of the cigarettes she had brought and smoked a bit, just to look cool. "What's your name?" 

"Sue. And you are...?" 

"Paul. You're from another school, I suppose?" 

Sue nodded. "Littlewood". 

Paul kept on smoking. She'd had her first cigarette at eleven years old, given by another classmate, so that gave her a kind of experience Sue lacked.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" she asked Sue, smirking. "There's a garden in the back".

"Sure, I'd love to," Sue replied. 

They reached the garden and Paul gave Sue her coat, since it was getting chilly. The lights were dim and dusty as the band played Bobby Vee's "Take good care of my baby".

"You're not really fifteen, are you?" Sue dared say, and she laughed. Paul adored her laughter.

"Why, do I look younger?"

"Without the coat, yes", Sue giggled. "How old are you really?"

"Thirteen", Paul replied, hating herself.

But Sue smiled. "Don't worry, I'm thirteen too. I lied to get myself in here."

Paul greased her fingers and combed his hair once more. She and Sue sat together on a large bench. 

"Do you like Bobby?" Paul asked, begging the cologne she had put on wasn't too much for Sue. She had practically bathed herself in it.

"He's my favorite!" Sue was excited. "A boy dedicated this song to me. Last month." 

"Really?" 

Paul knew who that boy was. Douglas Vincent, Doug for friends, from eight grade. She hated him and made sure Sue knew it. 

"Yes, it was super cute! He's fifteen now. But my friend Carolyn hates him, says..." 

Paul didn't hear the rest because she was hurting at the sound of her birth name. She didn't want to hear it ever again, specially not from Sue. 

"Do you think so?" Sue was asking her. 

"Huh?" 

"Do you think older boys shouldn't be around younger girls?" 

“I don't know," Paul answered truthfully. She didn't know why she, as Carolyn, had said that to Sue after the latter confessed she had made out with Doug. Paul's jealousy made her say things she didn't really mean. 

_Once upon a time that little girl was mine_   
_If I'd been true, I know she'd never be with you_

_So, take good care of my ba-a-a-by_   
_Be just as kind as you can be-e-e-e_   
_And if you should discover_   
_That you don't really love her_   
_Just send my baby back home to me_

"You're odd," Sue said to Paul, smiling, and shifted closer to her.

"Odd?" Paul repeated. She had been rendered speechless by Sue and thought she would only be able to repeat what she said for the rest of the night. 

"You have so much self-confidence! I'm just a child."

Paul smiled. "Aw, don't say that! We're all shy, it's just the stage hides it better".

"That must be it, yes" Sue said, smiling as well. "Do you have a girlfriend?" 

Paul shook her head. "My parents don't let me. Besides, don't you think we're too young for that?" 

She didn't really think that way, but she said it to conceal her true identity. Carolyn had no problem with Sue being the way she was, in fact, she loved her more for it. 

"Maybe," Sue said, "but we're not hurting anybody either, are we? I mean, if we go on dates and stuff like that. We're young, we deserve to be young! Our parents are jealous, that's why they get mad at us." 

Paul smiled. "You may be right." 

Sue was one of the brightest kids at Littlewood. The teachers said that the only reason she didn't get all A's was because she was always thinking about boys. 

"So you don't have a girlfriend," Sue said. 

"No. Never had one so far." 

"How come? You're cute." 

After Paul chuckled with style, Dion's voice came through from the dancing room. 

_Here's my story, it's sad but true_   
_It's about a girl that I once knew_

Just as Paul got up to somehow stop the song, Sue hiccuped next to her. She was crying. 

"What's wrong?" Paul asked her, pretending not to know.

"At school... They call me Runaround Sue."

Paul really wanted to ask her why, even though she knew the answer, but that would be like scratching an open wound. "She's a tramp. Runs around with every single guy in town," one of the boys at Littlewood had once said about Sue, making everyone around him laugh, and the nickname stuck with her ever since. 

"They say I'm easy and call me names," Sue continued, her voice breaking. "My parents don't believe me, my sister says I should act like a lady and they'll stop... I'm sorry, you probably don't want to be seen with me." 

"I think it's wrong, what they do to you," Paul said firmly. 

"You really think so?" Sue's eyes twinkled. 

Paul nodded. "No girl should be called a... a tramp, or other names. I don't think it's fair, because..." Paul was having problems finding the right words. She didn't consider herself as intelligent as Sue. "Because boys date a lot and it's okay but if a girl just as much as _kisses_ a boy..." 

Sue surprised her with a kiss on the lips. It tasted of lip-gloss and confetti from the party. Paul got nervous at first, but then let her take the lead. It was the best seconds of her short life. 

"Sue..." she mumbled when they were done. Sue just stared at her with a smile and grabbed her hand. Paul couldn't believe she was really touching her. 

They danced to "Do you wanna dance?" (Dion was long gone) in the garden, not being able to take their eyes off each other. Their moves were a bit daring but no one was around, so they felt free.

"It's funny, you really look like my friend Carolyn," Sue said, but didn't let go of Paul's hand. 

"But I'm not her!" Paul shouted. She didn't know why she had shouted and now she was shaking. She was suddenly so angry... 

"Is something wrong?" Sue said. She was scared. 

"I'M NOT CAROLYN, GET IT?! I'LL NEVER BE, I'LL NEVER BE HER!!!" 

As she spoke, Sue backed away and away, far from Paul, from the garden, and Paul knew... 

...that she had been dreaming. She woke up in a jolt and noticed her heart was beating a thousand times faster than normal. She feared she was going to die, then realized with disgust that she was in her nightgown, in her girly bed. She was Carolyn again. 

The image on the bedroom mirror grossed her out, terrified her, so she got up and smashed it against the floor, cutting her own hands in the process.

"What the hell are you doing?!" 

It was her older brother Melvin, who slept on the upper bed of the litter. He jumped down and looked, shocked and confused, at the pieces of glass. Carolyn was gasping for breath. 

"Would you PLEASE tell me why'd you do that, little sister?" 

"I had a nightmare..."

"A nightmare of a mirror attacking you?" 

Carolyn avoided the broken glass and went to sit on her bed. Her hands were shaking. It had felt so close, so real, Sue's lips finally against hers... 

"Is that my stuff?" Melvin pointed to his sister's night table, from which Carolyn tried to knock off his shaving cream and cologne, but only the first item fell.

"Melvin--" 

"This is the second time you steal my stuff! Want to be a boy or what?" 

"No!" Carolyn faked a frown. "Of course not!"

"Then explain THIS".

"I... it won't happen again, Melvin. I swear to God". 

"No, sorry doesn't cut it this time, you freak of nature..."

Melvin got up and undid his belt. Carolyn started shaking. 

"I won't whip you, so stop shaking", he said. "I want you to fight me."

Carolyn shook her head in silence. She had wanted to punch her brother for a very long time, in retaliation for calling her 'freak' and similar names, but she knew her feminine, kid body wouldn't be able to handle it.

"No, if you wanna be a man you gotta fight like a man", Melvin said. 

He forced her to stand up, took a step back and started bouncing up and down like a boxer. Carolyn continued to beg no with her head. 

"C'mon, punch me!" Melvin ordered his sister. "Punch me!" 

Carolyn threw her right fist at Melvin's stomach, but she was too slow and _his_ fist landed, right after, one her right eye. Her sight was painted red and she fell back on the floor making a thumping sound. Her eye stung badly. Next, Melvin kicked her in the abdomen and laughed.

"Serves you right, you fucking lesbo!" He squatted close to her face. "Guess who won't touch my stuff again?"

Carolyn was in such a pain that she could hardly gasp for air.

"Say it!" Melvin insisted.

"Me..."

"That's right!"

And he left the bedroom.

 _Don't cry, Paul, whatever you do, don't cry..._ she begged herself as she twisted and whimpered in pain.

A few neighborhoods away, Sue was also up, but for a different reason. She'd had a dream about Bobby Vee dancing with her and then vanishing into thin air to make room for a handsome yet faceless boy around her age. He was a very good dancer. Sue felt so happy and in love in the dream, that only an irritating itch in her hands woke her up. Her grandmother once had said that if your hands itched it meant someone was thinking of you right at the same time. 

She wondered who that boy was, and hoped it wasn't an idiot like others she had met. No, life wouldn't be so cruel. He was already cute, so now he only had to be funny and charming as well, someone who wouldn't care she was Runaround Sue. In the dream they only danced, but Sue felt very clearly that he already _loved_ her, that he liked her just the way she was. 

Would she ever find him, in her school, in her town, in this life? 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't make a playlist for this story but there are good 1961 playlists out there, come on :P


End file.
